You know when they say you can be in a crowded room full of people and still feel alone? Well my friends, I’m here to tell you that that is a damn lie,especially when it comes to the gym. So before I get into what my experience was like being at a gym, I just wanna say that I am very proud of myself for signing up at the gym in the first place. Well, actually let me rephrase that last sentence, I have had a gym membership for the past 4 months (oops forgot to mention that lol) I just never went. I think that these are some of the things that have contributed to one of the reasons why I'm broke lol. Now on to my first day at the gym.
I taught that I would be excited and eager to start my first day at the gym because I'm on this new me, new journey type of mentality, but to be honest,all I felt was fear and anxiety. I mean the anxiety was expected because I always feel like people are talking about me, when half ofthe time those same people are worried about their own problems. Did I also mention that there was only 5 people at the gym? C'mon Khai! Really? Get a grip lol. I didn’t understand where the fear came from though because that was a new feeling. I mean don't get me wrong,the staff is great and the people are friendly and my trainer is pretty dope. When I saw the machines,I think that’s where the fear was coming from.In my mind I was thinking,my ass couldn't even do a push-up for God sakes, so how in the hell is my ass going even use these machines lol.
So Andrew
(my trainer), said we aregoing to do that umm “Fit test thing” and immediately Ifelt like I was back in high school. Then I thought if I told him I had my period,do you think I would have been excused lol (wishful thinking). Then I put on my big girl panties and got to it and to be honest it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I did a lot of things that I thought I couldn’t do, like a push up and dead lifts. I guess it really is mind over matter huh?As I began to do the exercises I found myself saying oh lord I cant do this shit and my trainer would say don’t sell yourself short Khai. Thinking about it now,that’s what we do. 50 percent of the time we sell ourselves short and accept the things that we shouldn’t because it is comfortable for us. Crazy how it took a gym and feeling depressedto figure that out about myself. We are all a work in progress, but we gotta work in order to see the progress.