Gym Time

You know when they say you can be in a crowded room full of people and still feel alone?​ Well my friends​,​ I’m here to tell you that that is a damn lie​,​especially when it comes to the gym. So before ​I​ get into what my experience was like being at a gym, ​I​ just wanna say that I am very proud of myself for signing up ​at​ the gym in the first place. Well​,​ actually let me rephrase that last sentence, I have had a gym membership for the past 4 months (oops forgot to mention that lol) I just never went. I think that these are some of the things that have contributed to one of the reasons why I'm broke lol. Now on to my first day at the gym.

I taught that I​ would be excited and eager to start my first day at the gym because I'm on this new me,​ ​new journey type of mental​ity,​ but to be honest​,​all I felt was fear and anxiety. I mean the anxiety was expected ​be​cause ​I​ always feel like people are talking about me, when half​ of​the time those same people are worried about the​ir​ own problems​. ​​Did I also mention that there was only 5 people at the gym​?​ ​C​'mon Khai​! ​Really​?​ ​G​et a grip lol. I didn’t understand where the fear came from tho​ugh​ ​be​cause that was a new feeling​.​ I mean don't get me wrong​,​the staff is great and the people are friendly and my trainer is pretty dope. When I saw the machines​,​I think that’s where the fear was coming from​.​In my mind ​I​ was thinking​,​my ass couldn't even do a push-up for ​G​od sakes​, ​so how in the hell is my ass going even use these machines lol.

So Andrew

​ (​my trainer​), said w​e are​going to do that umm “Fit test thing” and ​immediately ​I​felt like ​I​ was back in high school​.​ ​T​hen I t​hought if ​I​ told him ​I​ had my period​,​do you think ​I​ would have been excused lol (wishful thinking). Then ​I​ put on my big girl panties and got to it and to be honest it wasn’t as bad as ​I​ t​hough​t. I did a lot of things that ​I​ t​hought ​I ​couldn’t ​do, ​like a push up and dead lifts​.​ ​I​ guess it really ​is ​mind over matter huh​?​As ​I​ began to do the exercises ​I​ found myself saying oh lord ​I​ cant do this shit and my trainer would say don’t sell yourself short ​K​hai. Thinking about it now​,​that’s what we do​.​ 50 percent of the time we sell ourselves short and accept the things that we shouldn’t because it is comfortable for us. Crazy how it took a gym and feeling depress​ed​to figure that out about myself. We are all a work in progress, but we gotta work in order to see the progress.

Thanks for reading the chronicles of a fat funny and fabulous chick xoxox